Crushes

  Hey, Im just writing this for fun, or at least for the future me to see it and remember how i felt at this moment of my life. I guess this is why i kinda like the idea of blogging. It isnt like twitter or facebook where my status and updates can be seen.

     This is all for me.  Part of me definitely want the girl I'm crushing on to see this, but I guess this is too much. No matter how cool she is. Okay, to be honest the real reason I'm writing this is because she recently blogged too, about her life and struggles of being alone.

    As much I would like to, I cant tell her hat I can relate to what she is feeling. I have many groups of friends, close, but not close enough. I have many brothers who I believe would actually come to my aid when I feel down, but not willingly nor happily. As much friends that I have, I'd always felt alone. I don't know why, perhaps it's just me.

   This girl, other then being cute and my type, possessed the type of personality I would want as a girlfriend. I know, I know, who am I? Thinking of having such an awesome person to be my girlfriend? Am I even worth her time? No, i'm not. However, all I want is to hug her, spend time with her, talk to her, and cuddle with her. She just gave me the type of feeling where I would feel comfortable to be with when I hang out with her, but now, I feel that I should stay clear of her.

   Thinking of what I did to my last date, it is propably the worst thing i've done to a girl.Breaking up through a text? Dick move Ryan... I know.. I know.. But it's human nature to have greed is'nt it? Would I be able to get close to her? Would she accept a fat and ugly person? I wonder? Even though I'm not even texting her now... You have made me feel something special towards you that I haven't felt towards a girl for a very long time. You are cute, awesome, and your personality is just way to cool haha. Maybe one day, maybe. I do wish we can connect more as the semester progresses, I'm not sure whether I am going to try to go after her, but damn, she's really intrigue me to know her more. 

  Future me, when you are reading this blog, please don't think I was naive, just let this be an innocent memory to keep. XoXo to you. M.OO HAHHA this is funny, her name like cow! hahahaha.